International Telly!

Great British Entertainment

Has anyone else noticed how ridiculous this new TV trend of picking an area and it’s stereotypical inhabitants and making it in to ’entertainment’. I am pretty sure having a laser tattoo removal is less painful then watching the stupidity of Britain on a television screen.

I cannot personally understand this countries obsession with ’Reality TV'especially as the majority of it is not real. The ’people'in Made in Chelsea or the Only Way Is Essex are paid far too much money to over exaggerate what is awful about those places. For example the superficial, money driven minds of those from Chelsea whose beauty is only skin deep. They are not real people from a real place, they are cotton wool wrapped, money grabbing opportunists, who have no problem in degrading themselves in order to make a quick buck.

There is a severe problem with entertainment in the UK today and programmes like this are just adding to it. Next ITV will be requesting my friends and I to a North London Massive version of this new TV fad, they will film us in all our Middle Class glory, watching television, playing football, eating too much take away food and drinking far too much booze in the pub. Watching other people’s lives is not fun, it is just a very bad way for very sad people to live vicariously through other more ’beautiful'more ’fun'people who do not want to live a run of the mill hum drum life.

I would rather stay in on a Saturday night and watch Dancing On Ice then ever witness another one of these shows…However they have just bought out a new one- Jordy Shore- cannot wait to witness the depraved behaviour of those wonderful people. I am sure they will complete my life and open my mind up to many new things!

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Ninja Warrior!

When I was young I was fascinated by all things Japanese, I dreamt of being a samurai and being served by a white faced geisha girl.It seems a fascinating country, robots are de rigeur and ginger haired people like me are apparently some sort of sex symbol! On the downside, tattoos are seen to be a sign of Yakuza membership so I might have to save up for a tattoo removal procedure first if I ever go there?
As I grew older the dark side appealed to me more, forget the samurais – I wanted to be a ninja warrior, clad in black and carrying out silent assassinations. Well, whilst I may never become the warrior of my dreams at least I can enjoy the modern equivalent thanks to the amazing Japanese tv programme ’Ninja Warrior’!
Ninja Warrior is a little like the popular show ’Total Wipeout'but taken to the nth degree, to an extreme level of craziness that would have Richard Hammond watching through his fingers. To cut it down to its basic ingredients Ninja Warrior consists of an assault course that a contestant must conquer to be crowned ’the ultimate Ninja Warrior’. In effect, there are a series of assault courses. Most contestants stumble on the fiendish first course, but a brave few make it to the second course. If they make it through the second course then, and only then, can they attempt to conquer the final section.
How hard can it be? Well take the expression ’very hard'add about a dozen more ’very’s and you begin to get the idea. The figures speak for themselves – since the show began in 1997 over 2000 contestants have taken part. Of these, less than 200 have made it through stage one and only two, yes two, contestants have conquered stage three and been crowned as a true ninja warrior. In some years there hasn’t been a single contestant that has made it through stage two. Can you imagine that, a show where year on year there isn’t a single winner? Where the elaborately designed final stage doesn’t even get used? That is a measure of how tough the show ’Ninja Warrior'is.
Which is of course what makes it such compulsive viewing! Some obstacles return year after year, such as the spider walk where contestants have to move through an undulating tunnel just by gripping the sheer sides with their hands and feet. The contestants include Japanese comedians, wrestlers, gymnasts, olympic athletes and ’ordinary'people. One of the shows legendary winners is a crab fisherman who has built his own miniature Ninja Warrior course to practise on.
Recent innovations in the show have seen a smattering of American contestants taking part, one of whom did remarkably well in making the final section, and a female version called ’Women of Ninja Warrior’.
I love this show, it is compulsive, brilliant viewing – it is in short the world’s greatest game show. And it is educational as well for it has taught me that, tattoos and all, I will never, ever have what it takes to become a ninja warrior!

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The Old Batman Series!

Adam West and Burt Ward are Batman and Robin, the crime-fighting duo to end all duo’s! In the 1960s hit US TV series, it’s a non-stop barrage of criminal excitement and awesome special effects! Yes, you won’t be able to move away from the edge of your seat…

…well, sort of.

Actually, watching Batman again the other day, I found it hard to believe that this was the very same series that had thrilled me as a child. During the 1980s I’d watched it religiously, genuinely afraid that something would happen to Robin and Batman would be all alone. But this time there wasn’t any of the same worry. In fact, my greatest fear was that Robin was going to give himself either a hernia or a heart attack.

See, Robin, in this old series, seems to have an anger management problem. Most of the time he’s going off on one about how naughty Catwoman is, and the other rest of the time he’s frantically shouting at Batman that they have to get moving before it’s too late. All the time you can see Batman just sort of staring in bemusement at Robin, presumably thinking, “Robin, are you OK? Did you take your medication this morning or should they maybe consider upping the dosage?”

From what I can tell, it’s Robin who is the naughty one. Over the course of the series he doesn’t seem to take his medication once. Although you could be forgiven for thinking that he has had a few too many botox injections . I certainly thought the same.

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Who controls itunes

The catch-up form of entertainment is picking up pace. Something you miss on TV can now be watched by paying a small fee. The most common websites to watch on-demand catch-up TV would be iTunes, BlinkBox etc. Some think that the TV shows are put up on these websites by different movie and soap production companies but the truth behind it is that there is only one major TV supplier that everyone is aware of but no one knew.
Warner Brother covers 70% of TV and film and about 40% of the music produced world wide. Every serial or movie ever produced that have made it to the big time international and national (US) market with big bucks has had one common studio publishing their screenings – WB has been in charge of everything going on.
Online sales now commands only 10% of the market while the rest are still in the tangible product market, consumers will increasingly turn towards the digital library for 3 reasons:
1)TV or films can be watched at the consumers convenience without moving an inch from their homes2) Packaging and promotion cost of the boxes and front covers of physical copies are now eliminated3) The demand can be met with ease without using logistics as there is no physical product being moved.
That means no warehouses – no storage. The current online consumers have found it a great idea as it illuminates the problems of losing or scratching discs – movies will play with the same quality as it did when it was first brought – everybody is a winner. The middle men are struck down again.

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Richard Bacon’s Beer & Pizza Club: Better than it Sounds

I stumbled upon some strange TV from these shores recently – and not tucked away in the wastelands of the Sky EPG, but widely available on Freeview. ITV4 is aiming squarely for its male, 18-40, football and pub banter loving demographic with this offering – in a way, it’s so unremarkable it becomes surreal. Richard Bacon’s Beer & Pizza Club is effectively a retread of a popular digital TV staple – a group of affable, semi-successful comedians cracking a few cheap jokes in an enjoyable, unmemorable format (see Argumental on Dave, any episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks). Where RBBAPC (to give it a suitably unwieldy moniker) takes it up a notch is that, in reality, it dispenses with the format entirely. It’s actively promoting itself as no more than four blokes drinking beer and eating pizza, whilst engaging in some pub-level anecdotes.

Bacon holds the shindig together, throwing classic beer garden banter– best days out ever, man crushes, secret hobbies – at his guests, including regular Jack Black-a-like Charlie Baker and widely available loud-voiced banterer Rufus Hound. The near-total absence of a formula actually benefits the show – conversations that meander into occasionally amusing avenues are more palatable when this is the sole aim of the show. It’s a shame they felt the need to add in the half-hearted competitive element, with the host awarded a point to the best answer after each conversation.

Richard Bacon has history in this sort of casually subversive stuff, having previously hosted Flipside, a Soccer Saturday esque commentary on what was on the other channels, for Current TV. RBBAPC is in a much more high-profile venue, and time will tell whether people will tolerate watching a pub conversation when they could simply be having one. It would be a shame, as the relaxed format, combined with the surprisingly copious drinking partaken by the panellists, has led to some bizarre, brilliant moments – Gino D’Acampo loudly opining that he would gladly copulate with each member of Girls Aloud, Bacon vociferously decrying Prince’s entire back catalogue, and Baker embarking on a holiday story so pointless it should never have aired, yet became hilarious as his cohorts began losing the will to live.

With most shows aiming for a gimmick to draw audiences in, RBBAPC is an interesting addition to the often uninspiring weeknight line-up on Freeview. Whether it’s better than getting some beer, a pizza and some mates in is up for debate.

Alan Partridge, Fosters Funny, Watch Comedy Online

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Sci Fi Overview: A for Andromeda

Among the very first sci-fi television production from the BBC, was A for Andromeda that aired on the BBC back in the 1960s. The widely popular series was no comedy show and was the brainchild of Fred Hoyle the well known astronomer and it was he who provided the story’s basic outline although the tv scripts would be done by John Elliot of BBC.

The plot of the series revolved around a team of scientists who start receiving signals that were radio in nature originating in the constellation known as Andromeda. When the signals are decoded they are revealed to be instructions for making an extremely intelligent computer. The scientists keep following the directions to finish the computer and after this they receive a new set of instructions that they enter in their computer which results in a new form of life being created named Andromeda. Andromeda takes the form of a female lab assistant who died in an unfortunate accident with the equipment designed by the alien.

Andromeda’s role saw the actress Julie Christie playing it while the other major roles were played by Peter Halliday as Dr John Flemming (Computer scientist), Mary Morris as Professor Madeleine Dawnay a Biologist and John Hollis as Kaufmann (Intel agent). A for Andromeda ended up being quite popular and upon the conclusion of the seven parts serial, several sequels and remakes would be made. The Andromeda breakthrough picks up where the original story ended with the computer being remade by the mysterious intel organisation. An italian remake of the original was also released in a five part serial. Unfortunately, A for Andromeda would suffer the same fate as many programs of the 60s when its commercial life was believed to have passed.

These writers and producers must be able to do better. What do guys think?

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30 Rock Rules

30 Rock is one of the best shows on TV these days, with an excellent and endearing cast, sharp writing and self deprecating style, there is definitely a lot to like.

Originally written by Tina Fey, 30 Rock is a post modern comedy which explores the ‘show within a show’ that the characters work on. This provides the opportunity to poke self referential fun at the idiosyncrasies of producing a comedy show and allows the actors to play larger than life caricatures of their unusual personalities. This atypical structure makes the casting of the unpredictable comedian Tracy Morgan (who plays Tracy Jordan) an outstanding choice to provide the absurd catalyst which can carry even the most ridiculous storyline as if it were perfectly normal, skilfully supported by his articulate but misunderstood entourage.

The main character, Liz Lemon is played by the show’s creator Tina Fey- a comedy actress known for her natural but vulnerable comic style. Fey’s outstanding performance and improvisational style yield some amazing reoccurring jokes and provide a human touchstone to empathise with in the chaotic world in which she works. She’s the kid of person you expect to see in the park pushing a Phil & Teds Explorer. The role of Liz Lemon as head writer in the show is excellently supported by the likes of Scott Adsit and Judah Friedlander whose odd ball personalities are clearly inspired from real life experiences in the writer’s room.

I actually started watching 30 Rock quite late, due my irrational dislike of the Baldwin brothers, but it turns out that Alec Baldwin is an excellent and very funny actor and a credit to the Baldwin name. His portrayal of Jack the head of programming (and microwave ovens) provides the perfect contrast to Liz Lemon with her creative and artistic aspirations playing off his practical business mind focussed on corporate success. Now don’t you ever bad mouth synergy! The fifth series of 30 Rock is currently airing in America.

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MXC: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

Has anyone ever watched MXC or as it is popularly known by in Japan “Most Extreme Challenge?” This show is currently showing on many television stations all over the world. I am not sure how popular it really is outside of Japan but it’s arguably the craziest and ridiculous shows on television today. Can you imagine arriving at the airport in Manchester, work your way through Manchester airport parking, head home and when you get there turn on your telly and see MXC on? You would probably lose your mind.

MXC is really a show where two or more contestants with some weird yet clever names are often a part of an equally weirdly named team compete against each other. The feats that each team is asked to compete in are all, with want of a more descriptive word, ridiculous and somewhat challenging physically. Most of the time these competitors will end up sprawled out face down in mud, or being thrown off a platform or some part of the challenge. The good thing is that they all wear helmets.

Then there are these two commentators dress up in the traditional styled kimono. These guys voices are voiced over, i suppose for the English speaking audience. The banter between them makes no sense half the time and I’m not sure if what they are actually saying is being translated correctly.

You can never be too sure if these contestants are taking the game seriously or a joke. Most of them look spaced out if you ask me.

The irony about watching this show is that you will find yourself laughing at the stupid games the contestant play on the show.

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